Society pressures you constantly to wear pants. You know it’s true.

Your cellular carrier pressures you to wear pants.

Look at the awkward, ugly “belt holsters” for cellphones that they sell. Look how easy it is to drop and break your cellphone if you try to use them. Consider that even if you do use them, they need belt loops, and look terrible with dresses or too big and lopsided with shorts.

Your cellular carrier demands that you wear pants.

You must do the only thing you can do:

Call your cellular carrier and say: I am a Pants-Choosing American and you can’t tell me whether to wear pants!

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